I feel first off that I need to clarify something for my family, and for
all of those who overheard that skype-call. Yes, I was crying the whole time,
but that does not mean I'm unhappy. Haha, I think I may have gave you the wrong
impression. I was crying, not because I was sad, but more because I was so
happy. It was so good to hear your voices and to see your faces. I was truly
blessed this Christmas to have been able to skype; I know of so many who did not
have this privilege.
I get asked all the time in letters "how are you, really?", and I just
wanted to let you all know that I am doing GREAT. Really. I am. Missions are
hard, those return-missionaries aren't kidding. Every day I have a moment or two
where I feel like I just need to push through, but mostly everything just flows.
I'll share my Disney reference to explain this point. In Anastasia, Anya is
learning how to impersonate the Princess Anastasia. As her teachers tell her,
"if I can learn to do it, you can learn to do it. Tell yourself it's easy, and
it's true." I very often see other missionaries at District and Zone
conferences, and I see them talk to my companion with words that I have never
heard before. I see them recite memorized Japanese scripture, and I see them
talk on the phone in such rapid Japanese that I don't even know what language
they're speaking. Sometimes I get frustrated, realizing that I can only say so
much in Japanese, I feel limited. But it's at times like these that I realize
they were once in my shoes, and if they can learn to do it, I can learn to do
it.
Anya then replies, "suddenly I feel like someone new!" And her teachers
answer "Anya, you're a dream come true!"
I can feel myself becoming a new person, and as I learn how to be a better
missionary every day, hopefully with a lot of help, I can be the missionary
Christ needs me to be.
