I honestly don't have much to say for this week either, so I feel I
should talk on something that I've been prompted to write about this week.
The Holy Ghost is truly an interesting member of the Godhead when you think
about it. He's a spirit, he does not have a body. We feel him, we hear him, we
think him, but we cannot see him. He teaches us, comforts us, and answers our
prayers. We can feel him as a strong burning of the heart, but also as a wave of
peacefulness. Isn't this strange? I didn't think so before, but as I've been
trying to describe his character in Japanese, I've come to realize that it
almost is impossible to do so.
In my Patriarchal blessing, I was once told that I have the gift of
sensitivity to the Holy Ghost. I must admit for years after receiving that
blessing I didn't believe it. I figured they must have had the wrong daughter
there. I had only felt a burning in my heart on two or three occasions in my
whole life. Other than that, the Holy Spirit seemed to just leave me
alone.
During my early high school years, I decided to play an experiment. I had
been watching television, listening to music, and speaking in a way that was not
in harmony with the standards of the church. I believed the standards to be too
tight, as if they were restricting me. After cleaning my room, I came across
some EFY CDs. Now while I still believe the music from these CDs to be extremely
cheesy and corny, I knew that the messages behind them were the ones that I
probably should have been listening to more than those on the radio. After a
while of listening to them, I realized a difference. It was ever-so small of a
difference, but there was a difference in my attitude. When the music was
playing, I became more loving and patient. I felt more inspired to be nicer to
my siblings and parents. I felt inspired to help others. Honestly, it was kind
of weird! I didn't think music would affect me at all, and being in the moment I
didn't see it. It wasn't until I would leave my room to return some sweater I
had borrowed from my sister that I would over hear her music and I would feel
that peaceful inspiration leave. It was really weird! But I kept up with the
experiment, and I let it grow from not only music, but also with television and
words. This is not to say that I surrounded myself with hymns and I would only
watch Veggietales. It was more that I was watching and listening to things that
I felt better fit the standards of the church.
Now, after years of this continuous experiment, I can finally conclude the
results. The results are...you can't tell! I honestly can't!! People tell me all
the time that they feel the Spirit and I can't say I agree with them. It isn't
until I hear or see something contrary to what I've been seeking, that I feel my
soul weighed down. It's a weird feeling, I feel like I'm heavier, somewhat less
happier. I've realized that I have become sensitive to the Spirit - not that I
can feel when it comes, but I most definitely feel when it goes. I've realized
that the promise to always have His Spirit to be with you is an incredible
promise. You don't know what you're missing until it's gone, and the same goes
for the Holy Spirit. You're given the gift of the Holy Ghost when you're
confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but that
doesn't mean you're entitled to His constant companionship. Once you've worked
hard to gain the privilege of having his presence to always be with you, you'll
notice what it's like to have Him leave.
I promise to those of you who don't know if they've felt the Holy Ghost or
not, for those of you who wish to feel Him more prominently in your life, follow
the experiment. Live the standards of the church with more commitment. Strive to
live as you know He would have you live. Keep your promises to Him. Pray. And I
promise with my whole heart that, you won't realize it, but He'll be
there.
This weeks reference is to Disney's Pinocchio, because if you ever "start
to slide, give a little whistle!". Don't wait until you've fallen so far, pray
now! Whistle now!! Even if you have fallen, whistle now! Because the second you
do, you can "always let your conscience be your guide".
Always let the Holy Spirit be your guide. He's looking out for you. He may
be quiet, he may not demand your attention, but he knows what will make you
happiest. Men are that they might have joy.
I hope life at home is treating you all so well, and I hope this long
testimony of the Holy Spirit helps someone out there.
I love you all so very much.
Your missionary,
Sister Johnson
